What the Bible says about Merciful Attitude
(From Forerunner Commentary)
The dictionary defines anger as "a strong feeling of displeasure and usually of antagonism." In the Old Testament, the Hebrew word for "anger" is also used for "nostrils," for when people are angry, their nostrils flare open and their breathing becomes heavy. In the New Testament, two primary words are translated as "anger": One refers to a passionate outburst, and the other, to a settled, irate frame of mind.
Ephesians 4:31 tells us that neither one is acceptable to God: "Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice." In the same context appears a seemingly conflicting statement: "'Be angry, and do not sin': do not let the sun go down on your wrath" (verse 26). In Greek, this literally means "Be angry but do not sin," "In your anger, do not sin," or "When angry, do not sin."
Dr. Richard Strauss, the author of nine books and a minister of 21 years, writes in his book, Getting Along With Each Other, that some psychologists claim that it is good for people to vent their anger to release the pressure. The problem, he writes, is that venting tells the body to maintain an emergency status, keeping the anger flowing. This establishes more deeply the habit of reacting angrily, making it more difficult to overcome sinful anger, as the Bible instructs.
Further, allowing the emergency state to continue reduces our ability to reason clearly and ultimately upsets the body's chemical balance, making us physically sick. Doctors suggest that migraine headaches, thyroid malfunction, ulcerative colitis, toxic goiters, high blood pressure, ulcers, heart attacks, backaches, rheumatism, arthritis, allergies, indigestion, asthma, and many other illnesses can be emotionally induced. Jordan Rubin, the author of The Maker's Diet, states, "When we are angry, our immune system can be depressed for up to 6 hours."
How do we overcome sinful anger? First, by recognizing and admitting we have an anger problem and taking it to God, confessing it, and praying for His help. As with any sin, we must acknowledge it before God in all honesty, seeking His forgiveness and asking for strength to overcome it through His Spirit.
Second, we need to examine its causes. Some common causes are: 1) selfishness, that our selfish demands are not being met; 2) perfectionism, that our oftentimes unjustified expectations are not being satisfied; and 3) suspicion, that we misinterpret others' motives or intentions.
Third, we must "be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you" (Ephesians 4:32). Kindness is the counterpart of malice, a resentment that produces bitterness. Kindness produces goodness, helping us to avoid responding in anger.
Tender-heartedness is the opposite of cold-heartedness. A tenderhearted person, sensitive to the needs of others, is compassionate and merciful, loving justice and hating injustice and sin while showing love toward the sinner.
Forgiveness, like a healing medicine, is vital to unity and harmony among people. More often than not, it is more for the offended or hurt person because the offender may not care if he is forgiven or not. Forgiveness stops anger from settling in our minds, leading later to resentment and bitterness. Paul suggests that we need to practice forgiveness to learn from God's example.
In James 1:19-20, the apostle sums up what we need to know about anger: "So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath, for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God."
Clyde Finklea
The Wrath of ManRelated Topics: Anger | Anger as a Bridgehead to Sin | Be Angry and Sin Not | Bitterness | Compassion | Kindness | Malice | Merciful Attitude | Perfectionism | Selfishness | Slow to Speak | Slow to Wrath | Suspicion | Swift to Hear | Tenderheartedness | Wrath
When we show pity, compassion, and kindness to those in difficult straits, we are practicing the merciful attitude that God expects each of His children to exhibit at all times. Of course, He does not want us to be so soft-hearted that we become an easy mark for those who would take advantage of us, but He does want us to develop a keen sense of discernment that realizes when mercy is a better option than the strict application of rules.
Undoubtedly, each of us would lend a helping hand to another who was in physical need, but there are other situations in which a physical need is not apparent that also require us to extend mercy. Particularly, we need to learn to employ mercy in our dealings with each other on a daily basis. To put it into today's language, everyone has bad-hair days, and on some days, even a normally lovable person can be very difficult to live with.
Age differences lend themselves to misunderstandings. We may still carry prejudices that rear their ugly heads from time to time, causing friction. Oftentimes, we just do not think before we speak. Mistakes made in the past can seem to hang over us like a cloud and never go away, and thus we do not feel forgiven, affecting our attitudes. And of course, we all have different backgrounds and came from situations in which we perhaps lived our lives in certain shameful ways. Each of these problems can ignite trouble with our closest family members and friends.
The problem that all of us face in making righteous judgments is that we cannot see into the other person's heart; we do not really know their intentions and attitudes. We have a hard enough time understanding ourselves, let alone someone else! In Jesus' comments about judgment in His Sermon on the Mount, He cautions us about being too critical: "And why do you look at the speck in your brother's eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye?" (Matthew 7:3). Therefore, if we have to make a judgment call, it is far better to lean toward patience, forbearance, and mercy.
So, when we find ourselves offended by anyone, rather than responding in kind, we should apply the principle of giving a soft answer (Proverbs 15:1), turning the other cheek (Matthew 5:39), and extending tender mercies (Colossians 3:12).
Satan would like us to hang on to evil thoughts about another, to hold a grudge against a brother, or to arrive at church with a resentful attitude toward a fellow Christian, but Jesus Christ wants us to remember Matthew 18:35: "So My heavenly Father will [pass judgment against] you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses." Just as He forgave each of us from the heart, He wants us to learn to forgive others in the same generous, merciful way.
In my forty-plus years in the church, I have made almost all of the mistakes a person can make with his mouth, and realizing this, I have truly appreciated those who have extended mercy and forgiveness to me. They have taught me a great lesson by their spiritual maturity: that I, too, had better extend mercy and kindness to others.
What does God require of us? He tells us plainly in Micah 6:8: "He has shown you, O man, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you, but to do justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God?"
John O. Reid
Mercy: The Better OptionRelated Topics: Compassion | Critical Attitude | Discernment | Forbearance | Forgiveness | Friction | Kindness | Merciful Attitude | Mercy | Patience | Physical Needs | Pity | Prejudice | Righteous Judgment | Sermon on the Mount | Speck in Brother's Eye and Plank in Your Eye | Turning the Other Cheek
Notice the scornful comment of the self-righteous Pharisee in Luke 7:39: "Now when the Pharisee who had invited [Jesus] saw this, he spoke to himself, saying, 'This man, if He were a prophet, would know who and what manner of woman this is who is touching Him, for she is a sinner.'" Yet, notice that Jesus does not forgive the disdainful Pharisee but the woman: "Therefore I say to you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much. But to whom little is forgiven, the same loves little" (verse 47).
The Pharisee loved neither God nor the woman. If he had loved God, he would have served Jesus and been more sympathetic and tolerant toward the woman. This leads us to understand that beginning to love God triggers the seeking of His forgiveness. From that relationship flows the merciful attitude and the ability to forgive as one is forgiven by God because it induces consideration of one's own failings.
Self-exalting, self-righteous people have such a high opinion of themselves that they are essentially ignorant of the need to grant forgiveness, especially to those they judge as beneath them. We are often guilty of setting limits on our granting of forgiveness because we believe that it merely opens the door to further abuse by the offender. Jesus addresses this in Matthew 18:21-22 and Luke 17:3-5. His instruction helps us to understand God's expectations of us as His children. His standard for us is exceedingly high.
When Peter asks how often he should forgive his brother, it appears he understood his estimation to be quite high. He asks, "Up to seven times?" (Luke 17:4 adds "in a day"). No, Jesus replies, "but up to seventy times seven"! Jesus' figure of speech implies "without limits" or "without number." This so shocks the disciples that they reply, "Lord, increase our faith" (Luke 17:5)!
Offenses against one another within the church are inevitable. To God, pardoning these offenses is so important to the creation of Christ's image in us and to the peace and spiritual well-being of the church that it must be done regardless of what we fear the outcome will be. Our trust in God that He is overseeing the well-being of all concerned must be strong enough to place the outcome in His hands. God is well aware of all the facets of the offense and all the hurts inflicted. Do we believe that He knows who did what and why, as well as the correct balance of innocence and cause in every case?
John W. Ritenbaugh
Forgiveness and Reconciliation