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What the Bible says about Train up a Child in the Way He Should Go
(From Forerunner Commentary)

Genesis 18:16-19

What He says encompasses far more than early childhood training from parents, but it is included within its scope. It is vital that the “twig” be bent in the correct direction before the age of accountability arrives so that the child is prepared to recognize and resist the pressures of life from Satan's system. Thus, Proverbs 22:6 admonishes us with sound counsel: “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.”

John W. Ritenbaugh
Leadership and Covenants (Part One)

Proverbs 23:6-8

This idea, "As he thinks in his heart, so is he" applies both to the righteous and the evil. Here, the subject is evil. We can translate the first half of verse 7 in a more modern way as, "As he calculates in his soul." "Calculate" puts a twist on the word "thinks," making it a bit stronger and providing a sense of deceit—that the person is considering the odds of a scheme.

In all three verses, Solomon warns against exploitative people, against those who are slick controllers who manipulate others through charm or beguiling words. God is telling us that we need to have enough discernment to look on the heart, as the proverb says, "As he thinks in his heart, so is he."

There is an inseparable connection between teaching and practice: We cannot practice truth until we are taught it. We pick up some things from our culture because people do not do everything wrong; from time to time, they hit upon things that are right. Thus, in Romans 2, Paul writes about the conscience of the unconverted. There may be little or much in a given culture in harmony with God and His way.

So, as a person thinks in his heart—as he has been educated to think—is the way he really is. Doctrine - teaching - becomes important because, within the framework of His purpose, we really cannot walk in way of God until He teaches us the truth. He must feed the mind with the right knowledge if the person is going to do right as a way of life. This is what God is after, which is why doctrine is so important.

Thus, God says, "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it" (Proverbs 22:6). This verse does not mean that the child will do everything right but that the child's basic training will never completely leave him, and if his parents start him off in the right way, "as the twig is bent, so grows the tree." It is a generality, but a true one. What people need is truth. We need the doctrines put together in the correct way so they lead in the right direction—toward God's purpose.

What matters is the thinking material that the person works with because the knowledge that his mind, his heart, assimilates will form the basis from which he calculates. If a person lacks truth, he will not come to proper decisions and produce the right actions.

John W. Ritenbaugh
The Sovereignty of God (Part Eleven)

Ecclesiastes 11:9-10

Many young people may feel that the topic of character development is "uncool." But what is uncool about success? There is a key to character development, which, if acquired, will lead a person to success in a career, a marriage, a hobby, or whatever else one plans to do. This key amounts to "little" more than learning and implementing a cluster of good habits.

Character—those success or failure habits—begins incredibly small, not unlike the tiny, clear, unpolluted stream at a river's source. Flowing toward the ocean, picking up tributaries of experience, it becomes increasingly defined, set in its course, and often polluted. The mouth of a large river often becomes as wide and deep as a large lake, churning with dangerous irreversible currents, capable of carrying huge objects into the ocean. The habit clusters that lead to success—or failure—parallel the growth of a large river, beginning small and controllable but ending large and uncontrollable.

The key to success in adult life stems from habitually choosing lawful and productive behavior over unlawful and unproductive behavior now. We make a series of choices every day, some of which lead to character development and success, and some of which lead to character destruction and failure.

To have the ability to make the wrong decision but willingly making the right one develops the habit cluster we call "character." The Creator does not want a bunch of automatons saying, "Yes, Lord" or "No, Lord." To obey God's laws—or man's laws—for any other reason than choosing or wanting to from inner volition shows no inner strength. A motorist who obeys the speed limit merely because he spies a cop in his rearview mirror exhibits no good character.

The English poet William Wordsworth once wrote, "The child is the father of the man." The habits that we form as teenagers determine success or failure in adulthood. We can directly connect weaknesses in adult character to habits formed in teen or pre-teen years. When we see an adult who lives like a slob, who continually arrives late, who habitually fails to keep his word, we know these horrible habits stem from childhood behavior patterns. Most adults have stories about scars and mental turmoil resulting from poor habits they formed in their early years. Young people can profit from avoiding the mistakes of their parents and other adults.

Habit formation is just another synonym for character development. Motivational expert Millard Bennett teaches, "Habit is like a cable, and you weave a strand a day until it becomes unbreakable. Good habits carry you to success, and bad habits ruin you. It's as simple as that." Good and bad habits are formed the same way, little bit by little bit, except that instead of building up, as good habits do, bad habits tear down. The time to control our future—by forming good habits—is now, while our "life-stream" consists of a small trickle or a gentle brook.

We cannot develop the habit clusters that can carry us to success on a crash program. The best time to develop them is during youth, at the headwaters of a person's development, when a person easily forms or destroys habits. In the teenage years, we have the priceless opportunity to develop success habits such as dependability, reliability, and consistency. Teens can use the chores and responsibilities given to them to prepare them for adult responsibilities. The time to develop a reputation for these traits is now.

"Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it" (Proverbs 22:6) is for the most part aimed at parents, but the teenager or young adult should also internalize this principle as parental influence decreases. Teens are obliged to take over some of the responsibilities of parenting themselves. Parenting must increasingly come from within as the young person gradually takes on more accountability for his own behavior.

We could consider good habits the building blocks for success and righteous character, while bad habits we could consider Satan's wrecking ball. The losers of society, both behind bars or on skid row, did not get that way overnight. Growth and decay do not occur overnight but over a long period. How would we like to clean up the squalor and filth of the inner cities? The time to do that is now by developing cleanliness and order individually, in our own living quarters. Clutter, chaos, or squalor begins as an inner state of mind. Slum and ghetto conditions are learned, and they are cumulative. It takes time to make a slob or a derelict, but once the pattern becomes set, reform is next to impossible.

Success goals, better known as character development, cannot develop from crash programs. For instance, a crash diet does not form the kinds of habits that keep off excess weight. Our long-term, positive habits make up the mainstream of our good character. The place to begin developing habits that will lead to success lies near the headwaters, during youth, rather than midstream or downstream, when we are older and more set in our ways. Do not delay—start building character-forming, life-enhancing habits now!

David F. Maas
Good Habits


 




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