sermonette: Words Should Never Hurt Us

Our Response to Idle Words
Ted E. Bowling
Given 13-Sep-03; Sermon #630s; 13 minutes

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Good Sabbath everyone. Have you heard the old saying, Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. Anyone who has been stung by the lashing of another one's tongue will know that this is not always true. The wounds caused by sticks and stones heal, and in many of our lives there have likely been times where we thought that the wounds caused by words sometimes would never heal. We understand then that words have a massive potential power upon us. In Mark Baker's sermon last week, Mark showed the harm that can be inflicted by the tongue, and it is an amazing thing that an organ which was created for good can produce so much damage and heartache. Mark gave examples on how to guard the tongue and to overcome destruction, our words can cause others. As members of God's church, we, what we are to do when destructive words come our way and the words spoken to us out of, of malice or hate, we realize sometimes that it feels like we are getting a verbal stone hit up on the side of our heads. Now, there are verses that I'd like to take from this angle that, and that is in Ecclesiastes 20s, I'm sorry, Ecclesiastes 7:20 to 22. Ecclesiastes 7. Versus 20 through 22. For there is not a just man on the earth who does not who does good and does not sin. Also, do you take the, take to heart everything people say lest you hear your servant cursing you. For many times also, your own heart has known that even you have cursed others. And here at the end, the word others means just another person or even a stranger. What Solomon, the preacher is showing us through this section of scriptures here in Ecclesiastes and the section through chapter 7 is counseling for balancing our lives and our counsel for balancing life. 1st 20 here shows that there is no one on the earth who does good. Or does right all the time and never makes a mistake. It is the character of a just man to do good. But that does not always happen in the way that we would like for it to. And in the verse 21, it begins with the word also. The word also means in addition, likewise, furthermore, it's a continuation from verse 20. It is a situation where we have sinned others and others have sinned against us. And we are not to take to heart or pay attention to everything people say, even if we may hear our servant or someone insulting us. Because we know ourselves that we have insulted others in many times. The word curse here is important. The word does not mean like to invoke or bring evil upon or misfortune upon or even to damn, but it's strong 743, which means to make light of trifling, to rank the content or abate. abate means to reduce in quality or importance. It's to degrade. In value. These verses do not specify any example of what might be said. Perhaps it's just a defaming remark or an unwarranted comment, a comment said in anger, a joke at our expense. And or even deliberate untruths. Now John Gill's expositors on these verses states, and I quote, Seeing it is so that imperfection attends to the best of men. No man is wise at all times. Foolish words and unguarded expressions will sometimes drop from him. Which it is better to take no notice of. They should not be strictly attended to and closely examined, since they will not be, they will not bear it. A man should not listen to everything that is said of himself or others. He should not curiously inquire what men say of him. And what he himself hears he should not take notice of. It is often best to let it pass. It is and not call it up again to fiend the hearing of a thing or make it as if you did not hear it. Oftentimes by rehearsing the matter or taking up words, a great deal of trouble and mischief will follow, and that's the end of the quote. In the face of provocation, the true quality of self-restraint is displayed in our ability to take things patiently with forbearance and with long suffering. A person who is long suffering will not be equipped to retaliate. Or promptly punish someone who has insulted us or offended us. These are traits of Jesus Christ, which we are striving in our lives to develop. As Solomon wrote these words in Ecclesiastess, he had the experience of his father to lean back upon because these are the qualities of King David in dealing properly and in a balanced way with people. Please turn to II Samuel chapter 16 and verse 5. II Samuel Chapter 16, verse 5. Now when David came to Baharam, there was a man from the family of the House of Saul whose name was Shimiai, the son of Gah. Coming from there, he came out cursing continuously as he came, and he threw stones at David and the servants of King David, and all the people and all the mighty men were on the right side and the left. Now the word cursing here is the same one used in Ecclesiastes, which means to defame, to put down, and to grade. And this is what Shane and I was doing to David. He was, he was putting him down. He was trying to humiliate him. And the men of David wanted to take the head of Shiai. This man was cursing and throwing stones at the king of Israel. But what did David say to him? Let him alone, let him curse, for so the Lord has ordered it or ordered him. Who else in Israel was more deserving of honor and respect than David was? And his men were buying at the bit to take off his head. David could have given a simple command, and the man would have been dead, but he did hold his peace. And later on we find that Shime did bow down before David, and he apologized, knowing that he had sinned against David. And again David had the opportunity to put him to death, but David swore to him that he would not die, and Solomon knew what had happened because he had to deal with Shimii at a later time. And so he knew and had learned from what David had done and the patience and the strength that his father had had. And that wisdom is brought out here in these verses. These are not the principles that we see in today's world. This world of Satan today is one of Retaliation and that of getting even, it is not one of forgiveness and forbearing and patience. We often hear today's mottos. Don't get mad, get even. Even the score hit back. Give it back to them as well as you, as they get, they get, they get it. And we see in many of our movies today, and TV shows, music, and even our sports, this spirit of revenge. But to show restraint today for many is a sign of weakness. In this world. Sometimes we do not understand and, and know how competitive our human natures can really be, but it is a pride in us. It feels that it has to win, be vindicted. And a possible elevate above others. Man's pride tends to propel him to the greatest extremes. And yes, it is difficult to overcome these difficult tests. It is a difficult test to withstand unlawful and unwarranted criticism. It is even difficult at times to handle criticism that is warranted. We must be able to forgive and forget. Which are human nature. Fight against every day. We have our daily instruction and the method of how we are to deal with these things. Remembering back in verse 22 where let's say that we are guilty of the same sins that others commit against us. We must be willing to wipe the slate clean every day, not allowing these feelings of hurt and revenge to eat us up like a poison. In Matthews 6 and 12, it says, and forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors. God is willing to wipe the slate clean if we humble ourselves before Him. Our sins are debts to God, which, as the debtors, we cannot pay. But we ask for the forgiveness of our sins to God, and we acknowledge the fact that there is no way to get rid of them, except to the blood and mercy of Jesus Christ. And when we forgive others, God is able to see His image reflected in His children. Who must be willing to forgive others no matter what the affront. And as we see in the verses in Ecclesiastes 7, we need to be balanced, not overreacting and not taking to heart everything we hear so seriously. We must be understanding that we must have a thick skin and that we cannot wear our feelings on our sleeves. We can't believe everything that people say to us. Yes. Many, many times there are others that say bad things about us, and even in anger and deliberately as we saw in verse 21. And yes, we have said other things, said things to others that are hurting as we see in verse 22. There may be a time when a friend says something to us they did not mean. And they had no idea that they were insulting. Or they do not even realize the tone that they were speaking speaking to us in. We must consider also words that are spoken to us in spiritual correction. When we are given value of rebuke and instruction. And we realize that there is no sin involved, how do we receive it? Just a few verses before it says it is better to hear rebuke of the wise than to for a man to hear the song of fools. We must learn to take everything in our lives with much more patience and long suffering, and what is the achievement that we will receive through this patience that we have with others. What do we receive by forgiving others the curse, and what do we achieve by showing the proper restraint? Well, what we achieve is peace. Please turn to Hebrews chapter 12 and then verse 14. Hebrews 12 And verse 14. Pursue peace with all people and holiness without which no one will see the Lord. Looking carefully lest any one fall short of the grace of God, lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled. God has called us to peace. God's peace is a deep spiritual peace. And unaffected by the world and through our relationship with Jesus Christ and taking on the character that he displayed when he walked the earth. We can have this piece by striving to produce his type of character. To grow in his character and the fruits that he displayed and also through the obedience of his word.