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sermon: Raising the Future Children of God

Our Role as Parents of God's Children
Bill Onisick
Given 31-Oct-26; Sermon #1899A; 38 minutes

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Now we know God's plan to is to expand the God family. And we are called and given the opportunity to take part in that. Some of us have a direct role as parents with accountability of raising potential children. And some of us play a supporting role. Today we are going to focus on the direct role of the parents and in the future, we will look into the indirect role as spiritual grandparents, aunts, uncles, brothers and sisters to the greater Church of God. But today we will focus on the role of the parents. So let's start in Psalm 127. Now we all know this song, the Psalm by the song that we sing, unless the Lord builds the house, and it's a great place to start because the psalmist really sets the stage in verse one, and that's probably the blot here, the bottom line on top. Our entire dependence must be on God for success in all things, including raising our children. In verse one, the psalmist tells us, Psalm 127:1, unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain, who built it? Now it's important we start out this message here lest anyone think as parents we can accomplish anything. On our own We can't accomplish anything on our own. He is the differentiator in all that we do and we must always remember that. In the end, we can't take any credit for our kids' success. We have simply done our part to set the stage. It is God alone who calls his children. He tells us that it's God alone who builds his house. And today I have 8 points. Uh, for you on child rearing. So listen up. It starts with daily prayer. Daily prayer is the first key point in successfully raising God's children. Remembering, unless the Lord builds the house, we labor in vain, we must pray for God's help, starting with us as imperfect parents. We must pray for God to help us to overcome our imperfections. He is a perfect father. He knows exactly how to raise godly children. We do not, and we are often given this charge pretty early in life before we are really mature enough spiritually or physically to handle it, and it's a big challenge, and we must pray for God's mercy, protection, and His spiritual gifts on our children. Now I will tell you from before the time my kids were even born, they have been a constant part of my daily prayers and that will continue. Until the day I die. I pray thanking God for them. I pray for their physical and spiritual health. I prayed that God would help them to never turn their back on his truth. And I prayed that God would bless them with someone that could be equally yoked with while here on this world, in this world. And I prayed that God the perfect father again would help me to overcome my many imperfections and to be a good father, and that my kids would always know how much I cared about them, how much I loved them, because God our perfect father makes that so clear to us throughout the Bible. All right, reading Psalm 127 verses 3 through 5 now. Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord. The fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one's youth. Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them. They shall not be ashamed, but shall speak with their enemies in the gate. So a couple key points here from the psalmist. children actually belong to God. And they are to be regarded as his. In fact, he owns everything including us. children are his heritage. children are a gift and they bring us much needed aid in supporting and defending us spiritually and physically. They help to keep us focused above the sun. They help, they help to keep us humbled as we are going through our role as a parent, which is a very difficult thing this day and age. children bring us comfort and honor when they are properly trained. So children are gifts from God. They're his heritage. They're put into our care. Our care temporarily for a period of time, so that we can help them develop and, So that they can help us develop and learn to be like God our Father who is merciful and the perfect Father. Our children are actually a gift to us, we are to develop them and they develop us through all the experiences that we have to go through together. We're to be a primary teacher and in doing so, we are learning each and every day how to govern God's children. Now we must pray every day for them and then we must teach them to learn how to pray. So prayer is indeed the most important step in raising children. In God's church. We, we teach them how to pray and communicate with God. And we pray and communicate with God asking for his help each and every day. Over one chapter now to Psalm 128. And again, the Psalmist sets the stage for us in verse one here. Psalm 2128 verse one. Blessed is everyone who fears the Lord, who walks in all his ways. OK, here is 0.2 I have for you. God's children are blessed when they fear the Lord and thereby walk in His ways. Every child of God is blessed when they fear the Lord and obey his commands. Reading on now Psalm 12824. Psalm 128 verse 2. When you eat the labor of your hands, you shall be happy, and it shall be well with you. Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine in the very heart of your house. Your children like olive plants all around your table. Behold, thus shall the man be blessed. Who fears the Lord. OK, we have repetition here. Blessed who fears the Lord. The psalmist gives us a word picture. It starts first with a farmer that's worked hard cultivating the soil and planted crops that provide food for generations to come. And then likewise in verse three, we see the vision of a parent who has properly raised and cultivated their children to know the fear of the Lord, obey his commandments. The result is a happy family that's sitting around a table cheerful, numerous, providing abundant fruit for generations to come. It all starts with the fear of the Lord, a reverence and fear that leads to obedience. Reading verses 5 and 6 now. Psalm 128:5-6. The Lord bless you out of Zion and may you see the good of Jerusalem all the days of your life. Yes, may you see your children's children. Peace be upon Israel, the psalmist says. Alright, let's go back to Psalm 34. Pick up a few scriptures there in Psalm 34. Starting in verse 11 and going through verses, verse 15. Psalm 34:11. Come, you children, listen to me. I will teach you the fear of the Lord, who is a man who desires life and loves many days that he may see good. Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking deceit. Depart from evil and do good. Seek peace. And pursue it. The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are open unto their cry. In verse 11, we read, Come, you children, listen to me, and I will teach you the fear of the Lord. The fear of the Lord, the fear of God is not natural to the carnal mind. We must learn it and we must teach it diligently to our children. And that brings us to point number 3, and you can turn to Genesis 18. Point number 3, we must teach our children to know God and His way of life. Not just in knowledge, but in what we say, what we do, and what we do not do. We're going to start in Genesis 18:19 here, as we look at the Father of the faithful Abraham. 18 Verse 19. Here we are For I have known him in order that he may command his children and his household after him, that they keep the way of the Lord, to do righteousness and justice that the Lord may bring to Abraham what he has spoken to him. All right, over to Deuteronomy 4 now. Deuteronomy 4, we will keep the same theme going. We'll read verse 5, the end of 9, and then verse 40. So Deuteronomy 4, starting in verse 5. Surely, I have taught you statutes and judgments, just as the Lord my God commanded me that you should act according to them in the land which you go to possess, skipping to the end of verse 9 now, and teach them to your children and your grandchildren. Now over to verse 40, Deuteronomy 4:40. You shall therefore keep his statutes and his commandments, which I command you today, that it may go well with you and with your children after you, and that you may prolong the days in the land which the Lord your God has given you for all time. Now in Deuteronomy 5, we know that God repeats the 10 commandments. So we are going to pick up now Deuteronomy 6:2. Deuteronomy 6:2, that you may fear the Lord your God to keep all his statutes and his commandments, which I command you, you and your son and your grandson, all the days of your life, and that your days may be prolonged, skipping to verse 6. Verse 6, and these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. We can't teach anything we do not already know and practice. We must start our teaching with our individual learning. Learning to love the Lord our God with all our heart, and this learning never stops. Our kids must see our continued growth and investment in our relationship with God. They need to see us working hard to overcome our carnality as we pray, study, fast, meditate, and praise God's name. We must teach our kids to know God's commandments. But what's more important is that they see us obeying God's commandments and not just the letter of the law, brethren, but the spirit of the law. Our kids must see our works of service and spiritual fellowship, doing good works, being hospitable and entertaining God's people. Investing in relationships, giving of our time and resources to those in need, producing the fruit of God's spirit in peace, using our words and actions to always build up and unify the Church of God, never tear down the body of Christ. We teach our kids by what we do. And we teach our kids by what we never do. We must never talk negatively about others in front of them. Verse 7 now, Deuteronomy 6:7. You shall teach them diligently to your children and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down. And when you rise up, you shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontless between your eyes. So what we see here, right, is we are living God's commandments, right? And everything that we do, that's what the scripture is taught telling us. They're telling us our, our kids are like sponges, they are watching constantly. What we are doing, right? Regardless of where we are, whether we are lying down, whether we are standing up, they are constantly watching and learning by observing what we do and what we do not do. All right, let's read Psalm 78, starting in verse 4 now. Psalm 78 verses 4 through 7 as we continue this theme. Psalm 78:4. We will not hide them from their children, telling them to the generation to come, the praises of the Lord and his strength and his wonderful works that he has done. For he established a testimony in Jacob and appointed a law in Israel which he commanded our fathers that we should make them known to their children. That the generation to come might know them. The children who would be born, that they may arise and declare them to their children. That they may set their hope in God and not forget the works of God, but keep His commandments. When our children are old enough to understand, we must make it clear that they will need to make a choice one day soon, a choice for themselves to obey God's commandments, and they need to know in our mind, we have one primary definition of success for them, and that is success in God's eyes. First and foremost, our kids need to know how serious this is to us. And they need to hear these words from us. No worldly achievement, no job, no degree, no matter of how great an achievement might be in this world. Nothing could ever come even close to the significance and importance of this to us. The most important thing, the most important measurement of success in our eyes for our kids is for them to become a child of our great God in heaven. This is our and their sole reason for living and they must never forget this. And we need to have this conversation with them. They need to know this is how we measure their success, first and foremost. All right, point number 4. We must teach our children both the blessing and cursing of obedience and disobedience. Now there is nothing wrong with using a performance management on our children to reinforce the right behavior. But this must always be set in advance before the expected behavior. An example, kids, we are going to eat tonight at a very nice restaurant. It is important that you are on your best behavior. You see my kids smiling, we've had this conversation a few times, not lately, fortunately. We're going to need you to sit still at the table. You're going to need to eat your dinner. You will not be playing any video games or playing on a tablet or cellphone. You're not going to be getting up from the table and running around. You'll be part of our dinner conversation, you'll be pleasant, and when you do what we ask, you may actually be able to enjoy some dessert. That's the blessing. But if you do not do what we ask, There will be trouble when we get home. There will be a punishment. There will be a spanking. Now by the way, if we do not expect and enforce the same behavior at home, right? If we do not practice it at home, there is no speech and you know. Uh, pep talk that's going to, you know, make our kids instantly become angels there in a restaurant. We have to practice this at home. They have to know that they sit at the table until they ask to be excused, and they have to know that they are part of a conversation. We're not distracted. We're not doing something else. We're there. We're part of the family. We're having a conversation. As a parent, we must always be in control. This is important. We must set clear expectations on what is required and the result of both obedience and disobedience. This reinforces, reinforces the good habits of self-control. But we must be consistent and follow through, good or bad. Very important, we must be consistent and we can tie this to Deuteronomy 30:19 and 20. Let's go back and read that. Our God is the perfect Father. Let's see how he sets the stage for our obedience. He says in Deuteronomy 30:19, I call heaven and earth as witness today against you that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing. Therefore choose life that you and your descendants may live. That you may love the Lord your God, that you may obey his voice, and that you may cling to him, for he is your life and the length of your days, and that you may dwell in the land which the Lord swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob to give them. No matter how bad the situation, how bad the meltdown, we can never offer a bribe that is a reaction while under distress in the middle of a tantrum to try and make the chaos stop. As soon as we give the child that, that control with a bribe, right? We are handing our control over to the child. And we are basically effectively teaching them when they scream or cry out loud or act up, they get what they want. That's Satan's selfish attitude, right? Over to Ecclesiastes 7 now, please. children are much smarter than we give them credit for. Even an infant quickly learns that through a cry they can get and manipulate to get what they want. Ecclesiastes 7:7. Surely oppression destroys a wise man's reason, and a bribe debases the heart. God warns that bribes actually destroy the heart. Here in Proverbs 29:4 it reads, the king establishes the land by justice, but he who receives bribes overthrows it. In Exodus 23:8, we are sternly warned, you shall take no bribe. For a bribe blinds the discerning and perverts the word of the righteous. So a bribe to a children who is acting up actually destroys their heart, we read here. It blinds their discernment, it stunts their ability to make proper judgment and apply self-control. We must establish clear blessings for obedience and clear punishment for disobedience on the front end. Now, giving the children an opportunity to earn a reward, again said in advance, there is nothing wrong with that, right? We can say, hey, you wanna go out and weed the garden, maybe we will pay you a little extra money for that. That's no, no problem there. But we must also have some basic requirements. We can call them chores if you will, that have no reward. They're simply expected and part of being a member of the family. There is no reward. Only punishment if they are not done properly. Things like playing nicely together or cleaning up after themselves, brushing their teeth, taking a bath or a shower, folding their clothes or one of my favorites, weed in the garden. You guys miss that, do not you? All right, 0.5. My son missed it so much, he actually got a big yard, so he gets to do it for himself now. Congratulations. 0.5. Godly love actually requires correction. Turn with me to Proverbs 3. Now there is a popular child rearing technique these days that suggests discipline a child with a spanking is bad or it's harsh and it's unloving. The psychologists say just talk and reason with your child. Let them learn through positive reinforcement. But this is anti-God. This is exactly what Satan wants us to do, and he will pull on our heartstrings, right? To try to make us think we are showing that child love by not correcting and spanking them. Contrary to popular belief, kids, we do not like giving you spankings. It actually is difficult for us. We'd much rather not do it. But God tells us in Proverbs 3:11 and 12, let's read this together. My son, do not despise the chastening of the Lord, nor detest his correction. For whom the Lord loves, he corrects just as a father, the son in whom he delights. Over 10 chapters now, Proverbs 13:24. We take it up a notch here. Proverbs 13:24 says, he who spares the rod hates his son. But he who loves him disciplines him promptly. If we hate our children, we will not do the hard thing which requires that correction. If we truly love them, we will discipline them properly and promptly. The punishment needs to be as close to the deed as possible as we tie in Ecclesiastes 8. No need to turn there. Ecclesiastes 8:11. I'll read it, because a sentence against an evil work is not executed speedily. Therefore, the heart of the sons of men is fully set in them to do evil. So it's important that the punishment comes as close as possible to the crime. All right, over to chapter 19 now, Proverbs 19. While you're turning I'll quote Herbert Armstrong's your children, future gods. He reminds us in this, I believe it was an article that as a spirit being, Satan is able to put thoughts. Attitudes, impulses into human brains through the spirit that is in each human. Quote, saying does not wait until humans are mature. As soon as a human baby begins to use the reasoning process, in the very first year, Satan pumps into the child through the human spirit attitudes of selfishness, competition and strife. The desire to get, to have, to possess. Proverbs 19:18, let's read that now together. Chasten your son while there is hope. And do not set your heart on his destruction. If a child is not chastened when they are young, then the parent will be responsible for producing that child's destruction, meaning death. The death here could actually be physical when they do something stupid like running in front of a car, but the destruction here is probably spiritual as an undisciplined child has very little hope of making it into God's kingdom. Because they have been trained by neglect to be self-focused and disobedient. Proverbs 22:6, let's read that one. Proverbs 22:6. Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he was old, he will not depart from it. He cannot depart from it. And in 22:15, foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child. The rod of correction will drive it far from him. Get this one now for a minute. Foolishness is actually bound, that means it's literally tied into a child's heart by default of being raised in this world. Our job is to break apart, break apart that carnal foolishness at a very early age. Now I remember when Sam was 2 or 3, sorry Sam, I had to pick on somebody. I bought a used cast iron wood stove insert that I had refurbished myself, and as I burned my first fire, I could just see Sam's infatuation with that light, and it was burning bright. And I knew that she was so attracted to that, she wanted to touch it. And I explained to her, she wobbled over, Sam, it's really hot. She reached over to touch it. I said no. I said no, and she looked at me like she understood. So I went up the stairs and the stairs had these pictures hanging on the wall, and in the picture in the reflection looked just, it was just like a mirror. I could clearly see her in every action, but she could not see me, so I walked up those stairs like this in place, making it sound like I went all the way up. I got a little lighter as I went up. And I waited and sure enough, she looks around, coast is clear. She wobbles over there, she puts her hand out. I jumped over and hurtled the the stair rail two steps over, whack, and she cried. And she never touched that stove again. She could not figure out how dad came through the ceiling so quickly. And, and maybe from that point forward, she thought I could do it at any point in time, I do not know. I do not know. But I, I had in the back of my head, what could happen if I did not take the action of correcting her. Well, maybe if all I did was say no, Sam, do not do that, right? Maybe one day I have a fire burning really hot now, right? And that glass looks really good and she sticks her hand on it and actually sticks. Right? And I had to pull her hand off and leave the skin behind and she's scarred for life. And that's why discipline is so important. Our kids have to learn no means no. It's very important. All right, Proverbs 23:12, Proverbs 23:12. Apply your heart to instruction and your ears to words of knowledge. Do not withhold correction from a child, for if you beat him with a rod, he will not die. You shall beat him with a rod and deliver his soul from hell. Verse 15, the rod and rebuke give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother. Our kids must know that no means no. Their very life might depend on it. Physically, horrible accidents, drownings, burnings, fatalities from cars happen because kids did not listen to their parents. And certainly horrible spiritual outcomes come from our kids if they do not understand how to obey their parents and obey God. The innumerable scriptures are clear. It is anti-God to raise our children without discipline, and that discipline requires at times. The rod or hand of our correction. Now no one's size fits all. Our punishment for disobedience should be immediate, but it should be size for the wrong. The punishment must inflict some pain that is age appropriate. Usually that's a spanking or or a slap on the hand when they are young. Or a grounding, right, as they get older, that limits access to resources, maybe video games or cellphones if they have one as they get older, or TV right? What a book, I do not know, whatever it might be, something that they really want, we take it away as a punishment so that they can learn the ramifications, right? There is a blessing and there is a cursing if we do not obey. Our punishment must be consistent. Pain and fear are required by God because they bring about change and they teach our carnal mind humility and obedience. This is not something that comes natural. But in our relationship with God and with our children, pain and fear, our pain and fear must be balanced with this overarching love, and that brings us to point number 6. Love your kids. Spend time with your kids and say the words I love you, often. Many of us grew up with the strong silent type of parents, especially fathers who thought it was just weak to say the words I love you. Kids need to hear these words often from us. We must never overcorrect them, and we must remember that our great God and Father is above all, merciful and full of loving kindness. God tells us in Jeremiah 31:3. Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love. Therefore, with loving kindness, I have drawn you to me. That's the only reason why we even have a relationship with God. It's not because we were obedient first, it's because he loved us first. He forgave us and he draw us into this relationship. In Romans 8:38. Paul exhorts, nothing is able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. God the Father is a loving God, and he holds nothing back from us. He always has time for us, and we too must always have time for our kids. We too must always be loving to our children, spending time playing with them, creating opportunities to learn and have fun together. We must create opportunities to work together. And serve others together we must remember God is merciful and loving. To us, and we must be merciful and loving to our kids. We could jot down Psalm 103, especially verses 17 and 19. Now in Ephesians 6:4, you could turn there if you want or I'll just read it. We're warned by Paul and you fathers do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. Paul warns here that our correction must never be too harsh or done with anger. It must be consistent and balanced by God, by great love and affection. We should always hug them often and tell them we love them often, especially after a punishment. We sit them down, we tell them what we are doing, we tell them why we are doing it, what they did wrong, what they did to disobey, and why we need to correct them. And then after we correct them, we tell them how much we love them and we hold them and we hug them for a minute and have a conversation. All right, 0.7 and I realized I did say 8, but I cut ver number 8 because of time, so we will have to save 8 for a future time. But number 7, create as many opportunities as possible for our kids to spend time with people in God's church. In II Corinthians 6:14, you can turn there as well, we are warned, do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. And What what's interesting here, you know, if we tie into Joe's message, our children actually are underdogs to some extent in terms of being raised in this world. And they are underdogs because they are being influenced by the people in this world that are not in the church. And so, our job is to try to do everything we can to offset and give them a chance for success, right? And we need, and we do that by finding a local congregation and sticking with it. We make every opportunity to get our kids together with other kids of like mind in the church. We, we help them develop deep relationships at the feast, at at the weekly Sabbath, we do sleepovers, camping, sports, you name it, we find every way we can to have our kids spending as much time as possible with others in the greater Church of God who are of like mind. We send our kids to church camps, we go to winter family weekend, and we do everything we can to spend time with people in the church, so our kids can grow up with those relationships in the church. By default, they will develop relationships outside the church. And as they are forced to go into this world, whether it's work or through school, if they do not have deep relationships in the church. They will find relationships in this world, and that's the primary tool that Satan uses to pull kids away from the truth. They become unequally yoked, and it doesn't happen day one, but day by day, every time they are spending time with somebody that's not in God's church, they are gradually getting pulled away from God's church. The person might not be bad. Right? They're not doing it on purpose, but they do not have God's truth. And so they are just by default gradually pulling them away. And so having relationships in God's church is the most important thing that we can do to help overcome this. The world with Satan in it is stacked against our kids and we have to do everything we can to give them every opportunity to spend and develop relationships with people of like mind. Please turn with me to Isaiah 54 as we start to conclude now. So as we recap, children are indeed gifts from God. They belong to him. They're simply put in our care for the purpose of their development. And the purpose of our development. We're to be a primary teacher and in so doing, it teaches us to be like God the Father as we get practice governing God's children. It's a huge responsibility and requires constant prayer, asking for God's help for the Lord to build his house in our home. We must pray constantly asking for God's help and teach our kids to pray. We must teach them to fear the Lord. We must lead by example, not just teaching what we should do, but showing by example by what we do and what we do not do. We must teach them the blessing and cursing of obedience and disobedience. We must Punish them Godly love requires punishment. And we must love them, spend time with them, tell them that we love them, show them that we love them, and make sure they know how important they are to, to us. And lastly, we must create those opportunities, number 7, create as many opportunities as we can for them to be with like-minded people in God's church. So let's end here reading Isaiah 54:13, and I find great comfort in God's promise here to all of us. Isaiah 54:13. All your children shall be taught by the Lord, and great shall be the peace of your children. In the end, the Lord builds the house. When we put our faith and trust in Him, He will teach our children what they need to know, but we must do our part too.