Commentaries:
Secular sociologists and psychologists have done extensive research and observation on most human behaviors, the various forms of anger being no exception. During World War II, military psychologists first used the term "passive-aggressive" to denote the behavior of soldiers who displayed passive resistance and reluctant compliance to orders. While "passive-aggressive" may sound like a person who switches between extremes—first passive, then aggressive—it actually describes one who is aggressive but in a passive, hidden, subtle way.
According to these scientists' findings, such aggression—anger, wrath, malice, hatred—may manifest in "striking out" at others in ways that would not normally be considered violent. In their definition, passive aggression can include behaviors such as verbal ambiguity or mixed messages; avoiding responsibility; blaming others; chronic lateness and forgetfulness to avoid an obligation; complaining and general negativity; intentional inefficiency; avoiding verbal or emotional intimacy; not trusting others; manipulation and control of others; superficial submissiveness; back-handed compliments; fault-finding as a defense against getting too close; withholding information; showing displeasure by not conforming to expectations or standards; focusing discontentment on authority figures (employer, parent, teacher, even a spouse who has taken on the parental role); envy and resentment of peers who succeed or are viewed positively by authority figures; obstructing or sabotaging the plans of others; sullenness or sulking; and procrastination when assigned a task that is disliked.
At the root of these behaviors is unresolved anger, frequently from childhood and adolescence. Researchers have found that individuals exhibiting passive-aggressive traits often began doing so due to a "power struggle" with a parent. When that primary relationship is dysfunctional, the child of a harsh or intractable parent finds other ways of "expressing" himself—ways to "even the score" without doing anything that really crosses the line. If these patterns of subtly exhibiting anger become ingrained, they carry through into adult relationships and occupations. They become the "normal" way of dealing with things that make the person uncomfortable or if "unreasonable" expectations are put upon him.
Latent anger becomes the lens through which the individual sees the world, and passive-aggressive behavior becomes second nature. Thus Paul twice specifically counsels fathers "not [to] provoke your children to wrath" (Ephesians 6:4; Colossians 3:21). As we noted, wrath can be open and obvious or subtle and hidden, and it can acquire targets unrelated to the source.
Anger, malice, hatred, and wrath are habits. They are learned and practiced. By the same token, they can be broken and replaced with appropriate and godly responses. Jesus Christ came to fulfill the prophecy in Isaiah 61:1, which includes "healing the brokenhearted" (see Luke 4:18). That healing, if we are willing, includes emotional wounds—"broken hearts"—as well as physical ailments.
When we become aware of areas where our hearts are "broken"—areas where they have sustained injury or where we can see they do not work as God's heart does—it is appropriate to take this before God, acknowledge the brokenness, and ask for His healing. Sometimes the healing is instant, and other times it is a process that can take a long time.
David C. Grabbe
Hidden Anger (Part Three)
The dictionary defines anger as "a strong feeling of displeasure and usually of antagonism." In the Old Testament, the Hebrew word for "anger" is also used for "nostrils," for when people are angry, their nostrils flare open and their breathing becomes heavy. In the New Testament, two primary words are translated as "anger": One refers to a passionate outburst, and the other, to a settled, irate frame of mind.
Ephesians 4:31 tells us that neither one is acceptable to God: "Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice." In the same context appears a seemingly conflicting statement: "'Be angry, and do not sin': do not let the sun go down on your wrath" (verse 26). In Greek, this literally means "Be angry but do not sin," "In your anger, do not sin," or "When angry, do not sin."
Dr. Richard Strauss, the author of nine books and a minister of 21 years, writes in his book, Getting Along With Each Other, that some psychologists claim that it is good for people to vent their anger to release the pressure. The problem, he writes, is that venting tells the body to maintain an emergency status, keeping the anger flowing. This establishes more deeply the habit of reacting angrily, making it more difficult to overcome sinful anger, as the Bible instructs.
Further, allowing the emergency state to continue reduces our ability to reason clearly and ultimately upsets the body's chemical balance, making us physically sick. Doctors suggest that migraine headaches, thyroid malfunction, ulcerative colitis, toxic goiters, high blood pressure, ulcers, heart attacks, backaches, rheumatism, arthritis, allergies, indigestion, asthma, and many other illnesses can be emotionally induced. Jordan Rubin, the author of The Maker's Diet, states, "When we are angry, our immune system can be depressed for up to 6 hours."
How do we overcome sinful anger? First, by recognizing and admitting we have an anger problem and taking it to God, confessing it, and praying for His help. As with any sin, we must acknowledge it before God in all honesty, seeking His forgiveness and asking for strength to overcome it through His Spirit.
Second, we need to examine its causes. Some common causes are: 1) selfishness, that our selfish demands are not being met; 2) perfectionism, that our oftentimes unjustified expectations are not being satisfied; and 3) suspicion, that we misinterpret others' motives or intentions.
Third, we must "be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you" (Ephesians 4:32). Kindness is the counterpart of malice, a resentment that produces bitterness. Kindness produces goodness, helping us to avoid responding in anger.
Tender-heartedness is the opposite of cold-heartedness. A tenderhearted person, sensitive to the needs of others, is compassionate and merciful, loving justice and hating injustice and sin while showing love toward the sinner.
Forgiveness, like a healing medicine, is vital to unity and harmony among people. More often than not, it is more for the offended or hurt person because the offender may not care if he is forgiven or not. Forgiveness stops anger from settling in our minds, leading later to resentment and bitterness. Paul suggests that we need to practice forgiveness to learn from God's example.
In James 1:19-20, the apostle sums up what we need to know about anger: "So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath, for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God."
Clyde Finklea
The Wrath of Man
Other Forerunner Commentary entries containing Proverbs 29:22:
Romans 12:17-19
