Commentaries:
Secular sociologists and psychologists have done extensive research and observation on most human behaviors, the various forms of anger being no exception. During World War II, military psychologists first used the term "passive-aggressive" to denote the behavior of soldiers who displayed passive resistance and reluctant compliance to orders. While "passive-aggressive" may sound like a person who switches between extremes—first passive, then aggressive—it actually describes one who is aggressive but in a passive, hidden, subtle way.
According to these scientists' findings, such aggression—anger, wrath, malice, hatred—may manifest in "striking out" at others in ways that would not normally be considered violent. In their definition, passive aggression can include behaviors such as verbal ambiguity or mixed messages; avoiding responsibility; blaming others; chronic lateness and forgetfulness to avoid an obligation; complaining and general negativity; intentional inefficiency; avoiding verbal or emotional intimacy; not trusting others; manipulation and control of others; superficial submissiveness; back-handed compliments; fault-finding as a defense against getting too close; withholding information; showing displeasure by not conforming to expectations or standards; focusing discontentment on authority figures (employer, parent, teacher, even a spouse who has taken on the parental role); envy and resentment of peers who succeed or are viewed positively by authority figures; obstructing or sabotaging the plans of others; sullenness or sulking; and procrastination when assigned a task that is disliked.
At the root of these behaviors is unresolved anger, frequently from childhood and adolescence. Researchers have found that individuals exhibiting passive-aggressive traits often began doing so due to a "power struggle" with a parent. When that primary relationship is dysfunctional, the child of a harsh or intractable parent finds other ways of "expressing" himself—ways to "even the score" without doing anything that really crosses the line. If these patterns of subtly exhibiting anger become ingrained, they carry through into adult relationships and occupations. They become the "normal" way of dealing with things that make the person uncomfortable or if "unreasonable" expectations are put upon him.
Latent anger becomes the lens through which the individual sees the world, and passive-aggressive behavior becomes second nature. Thus Paul twice specifically counsels fathers "not [to] provoke your children to wrath" (Ephesians 6:4; Colossians 3:21). As we noted, wrath can be open and obvious or subtle and hidden, and it can acquire targets unrelated to the source.
Anger, malice, hatred, and wrath are habits. They are learned and practiced. By the same token, they can be broken and replaced with appropriate and godly responses. Jesus Christ came to fulfill the prophecy in Isaiah 61:1, which includes "healing the brokenhearted" (see Luke 4:18). That healing, if we are willing, includes emotional wounds—"broken hearts"—as well as physical ailments.
When we become aware of areas where our hearts are "broken"—areas where they have sustained injury or where we can see they do not work as God's heart does—it is appropriate to take this before God, acknowledge the brokenness, and ask for His healing. Sometimes the healing is instant, and other times it is a process that can take a long time.
David C. Grabbe
Hidden Anger (Part Three)
Other Forerunner Commentary entries containing Proverbs 10:18:
Proverbs 26:24-26
