What the Bible says about Shulamite's Emotional Tug of War
(From Forerunner Commentary)
Notice that the Shulamite is not entirely distant or cold toward her Beloved (representative of Jesus Christ). He is, after all, her Beloved, and her heart does yearn for Him. Yet, she hesitates; the relationship contains a flaw, demonstrated by the moment of self-interest when she, awakened from her sleep (compare Matthew 25:5), must decide whether seeing Him is worth getting out of bed. She has already settled in for the night, already comfortable, so on some level His arrival is inconvenient to her.
She eventually comes to the right conclusion: Yes, it is worth the trouble to open the door for Him. However, this test reveals her heart: She loves Him, but not more than everything else. She ultimately makes the right decision, but it is not immediate because her heart still holds enough self-interest that she experiences an internal tug-of-war instead of an immediate, positive response. She has a relationship with her Beloved, but it does not mean everything to her.
David C. Grabbe
The Relationship Deficit (Part One)