biblestudy: Absalom: A Study in Narcissism
Manipulative Control of Others
John W. Ritenbaugh
Given 20-Jan-07; Sermon #BS-810; 74 minutes
The narcissistic personality is characterized by a highly self-absorbed and manipulative individual who, on one hand, has abused his God-given gifts and, on the other hand, neglected the responsibility of using them properly. Probably the biblical character best exemplifying the narcissistic personality is David's son, Absalom, clearly a spoiled son in a dysfunctional family. David was not noted for his childrearing skills, rarely calling any of his children into account for their behavior, but pampered them and indulged their multiple transgressions. Moreover, in both David's and Jacob's polygamous marital situations (tolerated but not condoned by God), fairness would have been next to impossible. Absalom developed a highly deceitful charm, able to "sweet-talk a bird out of a tree" with his disarming verbal eloquence, learning to be a controller par excellent. Using his scheming manipulative skills, he stealthily (taking the law in his own hands) arranged the murder of his older brother, a competitive contender for the throne. Absalom, using his manipulative charm and unctuous verbal skills, won the hearts of the common people, undercutting his father's honor and authority. For his vanity, his self-aggrandizement, and super-inflated ego, he became a "pin cushion" at the order of Joab. Absalom used his gifts and talents only for himself. With Absalom's negative example in mind, we need to make sure we do not use our spiritual gifts for self-service or self-aggrandizement, or worse yet, not to use them at all. Our children are gifts from God; we as parents must pass on to our children the sense of responsibility that has been given to us. We have to make ourselves answerable and responsible for their behavior, disciplining them for their carelessness and reinforcing their thoughtfulness. If Absalom would have been reared with these principles, much of David's bitterness and heartache would have been alleviated.
Abner Abraham Absalom Absalom's hair Abuse of God given gifts Adonijah Amnon Barclay, William Beadle, Muriel Burning hatred Charm Cheap glory Correction David's 'love' for his children Dysfunctional family Harem environment Harem Jacob Jealousy Joab Joseph Judas Narcissism Neglect of responsibilities Not about us Peck, M. Scott People of the Lie Pity pot Polygamy Prestige Pride Self-indulgence Self-indulgent ploys Solomon Suffering for wrong Tamar