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What the Bible says about Tenderheartedness
(From Forerunner Commentary)

Proverbs 15:1

The dictionary defines anger as "a strong feeling of displeasure and usually of antagonism." In the Old Testament, the Hebrew word for "anger" is also used for "nostrils," for when people are angry, their nostrils flare open and their breathing becomes heavy. In the New Testament, two primary words are translated as "anger": One refers to a passionate outburst, and the other, to a settled, irate frame of mind.

Ephesians 4:31 tells us that neither one is acceptable to God: "Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice." In the same context appears a seemingly conflicting statement: "'Be angry, and do not sin': do not let the sun go down on your wrath" (verse 26). In Greek, this literally means "Be angry but do not sin," "In your anger, do not sin," or "When angry, do not sin."

Dr. Richard Strauss, the author of nine books and a minister of 21 years, writes in his book, Getting Along With Each Other, that some psychologists claim that it is good for people to vent their anger to release the pressure. The problem, he writes, is that venting tells the body to maintain an emergency status, keeping the anger flowing. This establishes more deeply the habit of reacting angrily, making it more difficult to overcome sinful anger, as the Bible instructs.

Further, allowing the emergency state to continue reduces our ability to reason clearly and ultimately upsets the body's chemical balance, making us physically sick. Doctors suggest that migraine headaches, thyroid malfunction, ulcerative colitis, toxic goiters, high blood pressure, ulcers, heart attacks, backaches, rheumatism, arthritis, allergies, indigestion, asthma, and many other illnesses can be emotionally induced. Jordan Rubin, the author of The Maker's Diet, states, "When we are angry, our immune system can be depressed for up to 6 hours."

How do we overcome sinful anger? First, by recognizing and admitting we have an anger problem and taking it to God, confessing it, and praying for His help. As with any sin, we must acknowledge it before God in all honesty, seeking His forgiveness and asking for strength to overcome it through His Spirit.

Second, we need to examine its causes. Some common causes are: 1) selfishness, that our selfish demands are not being met; 2) perfectionism, that our oftentimes unjustified expectations are not being satisfied; and 3) suspicion, that we misinterpret others' motives or intentions.

Third, we must "be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you" (Ephesians 4:32). Kindness is the counterpart of malice, a resentment that produces bitterness. Kindness produces goodness, helping us to avoid responding in anger.

Tender-heartedness is the opposite of cold-heartedness. A tenderhearted person, sensitive to the needs of others, is compassionate and merciful, loving justice and hating injustice and sin while showing love toward the sinner.

Forgiveness, like a healing medicine, is vital to unity and harmony among people. More often than not, it is more for the offended or hurt person because the offender may not care if he is forgiven or not. Forgiveness stops anger from settling in our minds, leading later to resentment and bitterness. Paul suggests that we need to practice forgiveness to learn from God's example.

In James 1:19-20, the apostle sums up what we need to know about anger: "So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath, for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God."

Clyde Finklea
The Wrath of Man

Matthew 5:7

English language dictionaries are of limited help in understanding this mercy's biblical usage. In English "mercy" is normally used to mean showing compassion, forbearance, pity, sympathy, forgiveness, kindness, tenderheartedness, or liberality or refraining from harming or punishing offenders or enemies. These synonyms give us some insight on this word; they all express how a merciful person might act. However, none of them specifically pictures what biblical mercy is because the scriptural concept is virtually untranslatable into a single English word.

The Greek word used in Matthew 5:7, eleemon, means essentially the same as its English counterpart, "merciful." However, in all likelihood Jesus spoke in Aramaic, and the idea behind His statement about mercy come from Old Testament—that is, Hebrew—usage and teaching. The word He would have used is the Hebrew and Aramaic chesed.

William Barclay's Daily Study Bible commentary on Matthew states regarding this word:

It does not mean only to sympathize with a person in the popular sense of the term; it does not mean simply to feel sorry for some in trouble. Chesedh [sic], mercy, means the ability to get right inside the other person's skin until we can see things with his eyes, think things with his mind, and feel things with his feelings.

Clearly this is much more than an emotional wave of pity; clearly this demands a quite deliberate effort of the mind and of the will. It denotes a sympathy which is not given, as it were, from outside, but which comes from a deliberate identification with the other person, until we see things as he sees them, and feel things as he feels them. This is sympathy in the literal sense of the word. Sympathy is derived from two Greek words, syn which means together with, and paschein which means to experience or to suffer. Sympathy means experiencing things together with the other person, literally going through what he is going through. (p. 103)

Much easier said than done! Having a sense of another's feelings to this degree is very difficult to do because we are normally so self-concerned, so aware of our own feelings, that sensitivity for others to this depth often requires a great effort of the will. Normally, when we feel sorry for someone, it is an exclusively external act because we do not make the effort to get inside another's mind and heart until we can see and feel things as he does. It is not easy to walk in another person's shoes.

The world, from which we have all come, is true to its nature; it is unmerciful. The world prefers to insulate itself against the pains and calamities of others. It finds revenge delicious and forgiveness tame and unsatisfying.

This is where we all begin. Indeed, all too often in the church, worldliness is hardly dormant, revealing itself in acts that show some degree of cruelty. Usually, these cruelties are delivered verbally, but all too frequently, brethren simply ignore the real needs of others.

The mercy Jesus teaches is not humanly derived. He says in Matthew 6:14, "If you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father also will forgive you." This occurs, not because we can merit mercy by being merciful or forgiving of others, but because we cannot receive the mercy and forgiveness of God unless we repent. We cannot claim to have repented of our sins if we are unmerciful towards the sins of others.

The truly merciful are too aware of their own sins to deal with others in sharp condemnation, so they constrain themselves to deal humbly and kindly with those in need. Nothing moves us to forgive others like the amazing realization that God has forgiven our sins. Mercy in God's children begins by experiencing His forgiveness of them, and perhaps nothing proves more convincingly that we have been forgiven than our readiness to forgive.

Recognizing God's mercy is a key element in motivating our expressions of mercy. Too many people today, even in the church, possess a "welfare mentality." They go through life with little or no gratitude, thinking they deserve the handouts of governments or private citizens. Ingratitude is vital to understanding this because, as long as one is unthankful, his thoughts will center on himself. The merciful person is sensitive to others' needs and takes action to supply them. An ungrateful person, though, insulates himself from others' pains because he is too focused on his own perceived miseries.

John W. Ritenbaugh
The Beatitudes, Part 5: Blessed Are the Merciful

Galatians 5:22

The Greek word chrestotes is translated "kindness" in the NKJV and "gentleness" in the AV and RV. Chrestotes denotes goodness of heart, kindness, graciousness, and includes gentleness. Kindness has many synonyms: benevolence, generosity, mercy, charity, philanthropy, sympathy, compassion, tenderheartedness, friendliness, etc. Kindness is a major attribute of moral excellence and is intricately entwined with the other fruit of the Spirit. Chrestotes is translated as "goodness" in Romans 2:4 and 11:22 (3 times), so chrestotes is love in tender action, a quality of goodness, and certainly requires gentleness in word and action.

Martin G. Collins
Kindness


 




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