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What the Bible says about Responsibility, Parental
(From Forerunner Commentary)

Deuteronomy 6:4-9

The parental responsibility to provide correct guidance in leading their children is so important that God emphasizes it in Deuteronomy 6 immediately after Moses recounts the giving of the Ten Commandments and the formal ratification of what we know as the Old Covenant.

Child-training in the way of God is correct parental leadership. This passage establishes that God holds it to be a major responsibility not to be passed off to anyone else. To do this, the parents must practice the way of God to the best of their abilities in every aspect of life. In this way, the children are not only verbally taught God's way, but also witness it in action right in their own home. This is not happening in this nation, providing powerful evidence to all who believe God as to why it is crumbling from within. Godly leadership is produced within families practicing godly ways.

Most people are unaware that the word “leadership” does not appear even one time in Strong's Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible. “Leader” appears only three times, and all forms of “lead” appear only 81 times. There is a good reason for this: The focus of God's persuasion to live His way of life is on following it. The terms “follow,” “followed,” “follows,” “followers,” and “following” combined appear 258 times—three times more than all forms of “lead” combined. We are frequently urged to follow Christ, the way of God, or the examples of the righteous. We are also urged to imitate the apostle Paul and Christ (I Corinthians 11:1), another form of following.

What is most important about leadership is that leaders are in reality followers. They follow either some person who has set a pattern that brought him success or some way of doing things to achieve success in an endeavor, whether in business, athletics, scholastics, or a way of life that brings growth—and perhaps brings God glory.

This is God's concern. Christianity is a way of life that God greatly desires us to follow. In Acts 16:17, it is called “the way of salvation”; in Acts 18:25, “the way of the Lord”; in Acts 19:9, it is simply called “the Way.” Jesus was the greatest leader who ever lived, never sinning even one time, yet He declares in John 7:16, “My doctrine is not mine, but His who sent Me.” Jesus led. He was in fact the very pinnacle of leadership because He followed the way of God perfectly.

John W. Ritenbaugh
Leadership and Covenants (Part One)

Deuteronomy 6:6-9

A number of years ago, PBS Frontline produced a disturbing report on "The Lost Children of Rockdale County." It chronicled a story just outside of Atlanta, Georgia, in which high school and even junior high children—some as young as 13—were involved in a web of multiple sexual partners over the spring and summer of 1996.

By the time it was over, 17 young people tested positive for syphilis, while more than 200 others were exposed and treated. A registered nurse with the Rockdale County Public Health Department commented, "You don't expect to see a 14-year-old with 20, 30, 40, 50, or 100 partners. You expect that of someone who is more into the line of being a prostitute or something. And these girls were not homeless. They were not abused in any way. These were just normal, everyday, regular kids"—from middle- and upper-middle-class homes.

These were not poor kids. They had their own TVs, VCRs, cell phones, and many even had their own cars—including a number with BMWs. The report points out that these activities mostly took place in homes while the parents were at work or away on trips. Therein lies a major source of the problem: The parents were more involved in providing material possessions for their children than they were providing what really matters, a stable, secure home with nurturing and instruction. The teens had the gadgets—what they needed were families.

The PBS Frontline report repeatedly came back to the role of the parents in the lives of these teenagers, and the fact that many of the parents felt powerless against the culture. "What can you do about it? You know, you can't lock a kid in a closet, 13, 14, 15 years old," one parent said with resignation. Another lamented, "I think what it is is we've lost control over our children. You can't spank them now, or they'll turn you in to the police . . .." But underlying all of the identified "causes"—television, external groups, peer pressure—was the fact that the parents were more interested in their own lives than the lives of their children. The children were "lost" because the parents let them wander away.

Homosexuality is another perceived threat to American culture, and rightfully so: When perverse relationships and lifestyles are portrayed as normal and even to be sought after, the foundation of the society—the family—is in grave danger of disintegrating. However, can we honestly say that homosexuality is a more common threat to the average family than dysfunction and/or parental apathy? Would homosexuality even be a threat to the culture if the family unit were truly intact? Rising rates of homosexuality are better seen as a symptom of a damaged family than a cause.

In God's preparatory instructions to Israel before entering the Promised Land—and to us, before entering His Kingdom—He makes our parental responsibilities plain (Deuteronomy 6:6-9; see also Deuteronomy 11:19). Teaching at all times requires continual, active involvement, not passive observance. It demands that a higher priority be placed on instruction than on a higher salary or more possessions. It calls for the willing sacrifice of that most precious of all commodities: time. As adults, the pace of our lives may indeed be frenetic, but if our children are not properly instructed and cared for even in the midst of chaos, they, too, may become "lost."

The above stories do not represent all teenagers. While they may not be isolated incidences, they also are not the norm—so far. There are encouraging signs that a part of the culture is coming to its senses and is determining to provide security and nurturing to the next generation.

Homeschooling is increasing at a tremendous rate across this country. More women are recognizing that the cost of "having it all" in terms of careers and generous salaries is too high—that it does not reward with families and children but loneliness. Mothers with children under three are leaving the workplace.

But what is most needed is for the fathers to shake off the shackles of materialism, narcissism, and feminism and to provide for their families what is truly needed: leadership, security, attention, involvement, and instruction. We cannot afford any more "lost" children.

David C. Grabbe
Are We Losing Our Children?

Proverbs 22:6

In Muriel Beadle's book on the importance of early childhood development, A Child's Mind, she expresses her own version of this proverb: "Parents, train up a child in the way that he should go, and when he is old he will be unable to depart from it."

Beadle is a child psychologist. She has an awful lot of clinical experience in dealing with children and their parents. It is her considered opinion that, when people get older, they really never change.

Most adults understand how difficult it is to change, how difficult it is to overcome something. Beadle thinks nobody ever really changes. From her experience she is probably close to being a hundred percent accurate. There is a great parental responsibility to instill the right things in a child, because that child will carry them right through into his adulthood. Thus, God can confidently say that when you train up a child in the way that he should go, when he gets older he will live the way you trained him. If you trained your children right, they will continue, and their lives will be a success—a far greater success that it ever would have been if you had not given them the right instruction in the first place.

Beadle's comment underscores the importance of the immediate with regard to children's conduct. There are things that cannot wait, and training up a child in the way that he should go is one of them. Your time with you children is running out. It is slipping away, and God is still holding you responsible.

John W. Ritenbaugh
Sanctification and the Teens


 




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