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What the Bible says about Grief
(From Forerunner Commentary)

Genesis 3:16

The first curse includes the whole processes of childbearing, from conception to birth. The Hebrew word rendered "conception" in the New King James version (NKJV) includes the entire pregnancy, while "bring forth" can mean both the beginning or end of the birth process. The Revised Standard Version translates these clauses as, "I will greatly multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children."

A human female is unique among mammalian creatures in this respect. Animal females generally bear their young without pain and rarely sicken and die during or from the experience. Women, on the other hand, always experience pain and grief throughout their pregnancies—from morning sickness to contractions—and have historically had a very high mortality rate from childbirth. Better nutrition and hygiene have cut the numbers of deaths dramatically, but the pain and grief remain.

Fortunately, God is a God of mercy. He put within the human female the ability to "forget" her pains in childbirth soon thereafter. Jesus Himself mentions this in John 16:21:

A woman, when she is in labor, has sorrow because her hour has come; but as soon as she has given birth to the child, she no longer remembers the anguish, for joy that a human being has been born into the world.

This curse on Eve has a direct relationship with the end of the curse on the serpent, which involves the woman's "seed," both general and specific (Genesis 3:15). We can infer that God intends us to understand that, because of sin, producing "seed" to fight Satan and his seed will be made more difficult. In a spiritual sense, the church, "the mother of us all," endures great hardship in producing children of God.

Thus, the Bible testifies, "the kingdom of heaven suffers violence, and the violent take it by force" (Matthew 11:12), "We must through many tribulations enter the kingdom of God" (Acts 14:22), and "all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution" (II Timothy 3:12). Even the sinless Christ, the promised Seed, was "a Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief" (Isaiah 53:3), forced by sin—yet willing—to bear the agonies of human life and death to become the Son of God, the Firstborn among many brethren.

Richard T. Ritenbaugh
The First Prophecy (Part Two)

Ecclesiastes 7:1-5

Solomon's series of "better than" statements encapsulates the Bible's teaching on learning the right lessons from life. It is good to have the perspective of a wise man telling us that this is better than that. Here, the choice is whether it is better to be joyful, festive, and full of mirth or to grieve and learn from it.

The principle Solomon desires to impart to us is that we do not tend to learn much from good times. This is unfortunate, but it is a facet of human nature that we, like the grasshopper, get our fiddle out and dance away the summer. Even though we live in relative prosperity and receive many blessings, we think primarily about having fun or feeling joy rather than soberly considering the future and the lessons we should learn.

Good things bring us much joy and contentment, which is certainly positive. However, it is not as good as allowing the misfortunes of life to teach us valuable wisdom about living a godly life. This idea remains a well-known principle in our culture, probably because of the historical Christian influence and the Bible's memorable sayings, which people once knew more readily and made a part of our collective thinking.

The poem "Along the Road" by Robert Browning Hamilton, expresses this well:

I walked a mile with Pleasure,
She chattered all the way,
But left me none the wiser
For all she had to say.

I walked a mile with Sorrow,
And ne'er a word said she,
But oh, the things I learned from her
When Sorrow walked with me!

Sorrowful things help to give us a correct perspective; if nothing else, they bring us back to center. They help us to understand and live right before God, if we have that motivation. Sorrow, grief, and mourning teach us the value of life and living uprightly, as well as the value of things like time, health, and life's priorities.

God wants us to learn these important principles because death comes to all eventually. Sometimes, it takes the deaths of several close relatives and friends—perhaps in close succession—to make us realize that we need to take action now before it is too late. We could die tomorrow; we have no idea when we are going to die.

But those are the vagaries of life. We never know. We have no insurance, no guarantee, that God will let us live a minute longer. We need to think about grievous things like these while we have the time. There is no time to lose. So, it becomes imperative that we learn these lessons when they are given and make the most of them.

Richard T. Ritenbaugh
Those Who Mourn

Lamentations 1:10-16

The book of Lamentations opens with Jerusalem being depicted as a princess who had it all, but due to calamity, she is widowed and has become a slave. She is Jerusalem personified, which the armies of Nebuchadnezzar have destroyed. Most of her people are dead, and her life seems to be overwhelmed and consumed by death, particularly the death of her inhabitants.

The reader is expected to know that her sins are what brought on this disaster. Her destruction was a judgment from God because she refused to repent. As a result, all her people are either dead or in Babylonian captivity. She tells us that even the few survivors are starving and miserable. They have nothing because they have bartered it all away for what little food remains in the area.

So Jerusalem is in a deep state of grief. She experiences the kind of mourning that occurs just after a calamity strikes. A person cannot think straight because of the magnitude of what has just happened. Nothing makes sense. No one and nothing can bring comfort because shell shock has set in. She is reeling from the destruction, chaos, and death that has just ruined her world, and her mind cannot piece together the reasons—not at this point. Only later in the book, in chapters 3 and 5, does the author begin to find perspective, tentatively acknowledging the lessons God wants His people to learn.

That is how grief works; that is its pattern. Modern studies have found that grief is a lengthy process. It is not just something that happens and quickly recedes. Instead, it is a process a person must move through in stages, each of which takes time. In this way, a grieving person can get a handle on what he or she is feeling and how it affects daily life. It takes considerable time to come to terms with what has happened. The book of Lamentations illustrates this process.

Richard T. Ritenbaugh
Those Who Mourn

Amos 5:16-17

The farmer, accustomed to facing all the vagaries and insecurities of nature, like flooding and drought, is less likely to cry and mourn. The professional mourners, who cry at the drop of a hat, typify the other extreme. In their grief and despair, people will wander from one place to another looking for water, food, stability, hope, an organized city, or a functioning society. All they will find is anarchy. Will God be walking beside them? No, He inspired Amos to say, He would walk right through them!

Amos is not argumentative with them; he is not trying to prove anything to them anymore. He merely shows them what the Day of the Lord will be like. He paints a vivid and stark picture of the horrors in their future to make them evaluate the present status of their relationship with God.

John W. Ritenbaugh
Prepare to Meet Your God! (The Book of Amos) (Part Two)

Matthew 5:4

A specific type of mourning is the kind that receives the comfort of God. Millions, perhaps billions, of mourners in the world do not come within the scope of Jesus' statement. These mourners may even be under God's condemnation and far from receiving any of His comfort.

The Bible shows three kinds of sorrow. The first is the natural grief that arises from tragic circumstances. The second is a sinful, inordinate, hopeless sorrow that can even refuse to be comforted. Perhaps the outstanding biblical example of this is Judas, whose remorse led him to commit a further sin, self-murder. Paul, in II Corinthians 7:10, calls this "the sorrow of the world [which] produces death." The third sorrow is godly sorrow. In the same verse, Paul writes, "For godly sorrow produces repentance to salvation, not to be regretted. . . ."

Mourning, grief, or sorrow is not a good thing in itself. What motivates it, combined with what it produces, is what matters. Thus, II Corinthians 7:10 states a vital key: The mourning that Jesus teaches is a major spiritual component of godly repentance that leads to or helps to produce the abundant life of John 10:10.

This principle arises often in secular life because humans seem bound and determined to learn by painful experience. For example, only when our health is either breaking or broken down, and we are suffering the painful effects of ignorantly or willfully ignoring health laws, do we make serious efforts to discover causes that lead to recovery of health and relief from the pains of disease. At that point we truly want to bring the comfort of good health back into our life.

Solomon addresses this truism in Ecclesiastes 7:2-4:

It is better to go to the house of mourning than to go to the house of feasting, for that is the end of all men; and the living will take it to heart. Sorrow is better than laughter, for by a sad countenance the heart is made better. The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning, but the heart of fools is in the house of mirth.

Solomon is in no way saying that feasting and laughter are to be avoided, but rather he is comparing their relative value to life. Feasting does not contain an inherent power to motivate positive change in the way one is living. Instead, it motivates one to remain as he is, feeling a sense of temporary well-being. Contrariwise, sorrow—especially when pain or death is part of the picture (Psalm 90:12)—has an intrinsic power to draw a person to consider the direction of his path and institute changes that will enhance his life.

This general principle applies to virtually all life's difficulties. Whether health problems or financial difficulties, family troubles or business hassles, in falling into them and being delivered from them, we generally follow this pattern. However, spiritually, in our relationship with God, some variations from this general principle arise because God is deeply involved in leading and guiding our creation into His image.

In this case, not everything is happening "naturally." He intervenes in the natural processes of our life and calls us, revealing Himself and His will to us. His goodness leads us to repentance. By His Spirit we are regenerated, taught, guided, and enabled. He creates circumstances in our life by which we are moved to grow and become like Him in character and perspective, but some of these circumstances cause a great deal of sorrow. By His grace He supplies our every need so that we are well equipped to meet His demands on our life and glorify Him.

But Jesus' teaching never detaches this principle of sorrow or mourning from God's purpose because the right kind of mourning properly directed has the power to motivate wonderfully positive results. God definitely wants results, fruit produced through our relationship with Him. As Jesus says, "By this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit; so you will be My disciples" (John 15:8).

Concerning Matthew 5:4, William Barclay writes in his commentary, The Gospel of Matthew:

It is first of all to be noted about this beatitude that the Greek word for to mourn, used here, is the strongest word for mourning in the Greek language. . . . It is defined as the kind of grief which takes such a hold on a man that it cannot be hid. It is not only the sorrow which brings an ache to the heart; it is the sorrow which brings the unrestrainable tears to the eyes. (p. 93)

This illustrates mourning's emotional power, indicating it has enough power to produce the resolve to accomplish more than merely feeling badly and crying.

John W. Ritenbaugh
The Beatitudes, Part Three: Mourning

Matthew 5:4

Being poor in spirit (Matthew 5:3) is a facet of lowliness or humility. Mourning, the attitude of being contrite, a heartfelt feeling of remorse, sorrow, and unworthiness, is also a facet of lowliness or humility. It is a necessary and valuable mindset for Christians to have because it changes the way we approach things.

This verse could be rendered, "Happy is the man who mourns, for he shall be comforted (or consoled)." The word for "mourn" in Greek is pentountes (Strong's #3996), from pentheo, and it means, "to lament, to be sad, to mourn." Interestingly, it may be translated more strongly as "bewail," which is a very strong form of mourning, a kind of shrieking or keening or some kind of passionate grief everyone can see.

Whether it is just mourning or sadness or as extreme as bewailing, the attitude Jesus seeks is a deeply felt grief, a sorrow that goes all the way to the bone. It is not brief and passing, as one might have for an acquaintance who dies. A normal person might have a momentary, shallow grief for the person who has passed from the world, but it does not linger. The kind of grief Jesus speaks about sticks with a person, affecting him deeply. So, this mourning is not ephemeral, not momentary, but an abiding, continuing sadness, one that cannot be shaken because its causes are too present just to shrug off.

This last detail is an important thing to understand—that the causes for this grief are still present. It is not something we can easily shift our focus from because it has passed, and we can shrug and move on to something else. No, the problem that instigated our sorrow still remains. So, we are continually grieved over the fact that the cause still exists, and it is taking such great efforts to overcome it.

Richard T. Ritenbaugh
Those Who Mourn

Luke 18:13

The publican and the multitude who repented at Peter's preaching felt the plague of sin, each in his own heart. This mourning springs from a conscience made tender and a heartfelt awareness of hostility toward God's will and personal rebellion against Him. It is grief expressed because one has become acutely aware that the morality he holds falls so far short of holiness that shame rises to the surface. One also feels this agony when he realizes that his personal behavior and attitudes have caused the death of his Creator and Savior.

John W. Ritenbaugh
The Beatitudes, Part Three: Mourning

Hebrews 2:14-15

All men have been subject to the fear of death, and it is something that we have to strive to overcome. When we are called out of the world, we do not immediately shed all of our wrong, human perspectives. It may take years to overcome our fear of death, and most of us never do. However, Christ has freed us from the fear of death, and now we live in the fear of something else, the fear of God (II Corinthians 7:1).

Even so, we still fear death a great deal. We often take a loved one's or a friend's death very hard, and personally, we fight death with a vengeance. These are natural, human things to do, and we are not bad people if we do them. Nevertheless, there are situations and reactions that we need to learn to approach from God's perspective. Normal reactions like deep grief or denial are hard to let go because we have all our lifetime been enslaved to the fear of death.

Even Jesus, facing the horrific death of crucifixion and the crushing penalty of humanity's sins, reacted with strong, visceral emotion:

And He was withdrawn from [His disciples] about a stone's throw, and He knelt down and prayed, saying "Father, if it is Your will, take this cup away from Me; nevertheless not My will, but Yours, be done." Then an angel appeared to Him from heaven, strengthening Him. And being in agony, He prayed more earnestly. Then His sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground. (Luke 22:41-44)

Jesus was God in the flesh (John 1:14), and at this moment, His flesh cried out in anticipation of the suffering and pain He would soon encounter. Not only that, He had never experienced a moment of being forsaken by His Father (Matthew 27:46), when He would be absolutely alone to undergo the cessation of His life in payment for all iniquity. How frightening a prospect that must have been! Yet, even in His desire to avoid these physical and emotional pains, Jesus illustrates perfect submission to His Father's will, realizing its necessity for the success of His plan. Knowing God would raise Him to eternal life after three days, He did not fear death—what He feared most was life without God!

Richard T. Ritenbaugh
Death Is Not the End (Part One)


Find more Bible verses about Grief:
Grief {Nave's}
 




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